Some days

Most days I am able to see the future with a positive set of eyes. Sure the world is going to hell in a hand-basket but I try to believe it will be ok because we humans flourish in times of absolute crisis and we come together to form a strong community to help those in trouble. Some days I can see the future and sure life is harder but it is simpler, purer, cleaner and a much smaller place. Most days I am able to be realistic if not actually optimistic.

Today I am struggling.

I’m not all ‘woe is me’ and ‘why bother’ but today the fear is getting the better of me. Today the fear is overwhelming. Mostly I can keep a lid on my fears for the future but today I struggle to contain it.

Reading through my RSS feed and reading one of the posts from Mother Earth News (great site for all things possibly connected to eco) and it had me in tears. Not for anything particularly specific in the article (it’s here if you would like to read it) but as I said, the fears got too big to handle today.

Today I need a hidey hole. Just for today I want to bury my head in the sand. Today I need to not read any further eco focused blogs or research something else worrying me. Today I need to focus on creating. On dreaming (but not why I’m dreaming it). Today I need to soak in the sunshine without worrying about UV rays and greenhouse gas emissions.

Am I alone?

Does anyone else out there find that some days they have a desperate need to switch off? To step away from the worrying about the world? Not to go back to living a life of ignorance about our planet and its health but to at least step away from the war so to speak? I guess that’s why soldiers were given leave. Time to recoup the senses.

Anyway, today is a day off from the eco worry for me. I need to focus on simpler things, like knitting my cardigan, play dough and trains (separately) with my kids. A cup of herbal tea. 🙂

Well, I’m off to boil the kettle. 🙂

18 thoughts on “Some days

  1. Gavin Webber says:

    Glad that Kim and I managed to cheer you up on the phone, and that you feel a bit better.

    I find that by writing a blog post, as you have done, gets so much off my chest and lifts the weight of the world off my shoulders. As my Nana used to tell me, a problem shared is a problem halved! A cliche but true.

    Gav x

    • Thanks for listening guys. It was nice to realise I wasn’t alone, even though I knew I wasn’t. Sometimes it all gets a bit much I guess.
      Nana’s are clever ladies hey. Mine would have told me something similar and also probably that “a whistling woman and a crowing hen are neither good for god nor man” but then again she couldn’t whistle. 😉
      My Papa however would have put the kettle on instead. Almost as therapeutic as sharing. 🙂
      Thanks again for listening. 🙂

  2. LyndaD says:

    I am here Jess at the end of the phone. Im not sure if you want to be interupted but im here just like you are for me over and over and over. Sometimes i feel like you are my sounding board and with you i can be free to be truthful and not hide what i am feeling. Thank you so much for that. Anyone would think i was the younger one but yet here you are my junior by many years. You have made such a brave choice in moving home, raising young children with such integrity and love, creating your own self sufficient life and then sharing your journey with others through your blog. You work so so hard and are a shining example to many. I get you need timeoff. In fact i prescribe you some time off. If i were there i would give you a pedi once the kids were in bed with a nice glass of organic wine while i paint your toenail Revlon Red.

    • A pedi sounds lovely although you can have the wine if you’d like. It might mean a little more than just my toenails end up Revlon Red but I can deal with that. 😉
      Time off is most definitely on the list although Spring and Harvest time are both the times NOT to plan for time off. 😉
      Thank you for your wonderful words and the feeling of support is mutual. you’ve been there listening to me have a whinge when it was needed and offered kind and supportive, not to mention wise words which have helped me through. Thank you. 🙂

  3. I know what you mean, I think. I was standing on the hill yesterday looking out over the voe out to sea. It was absolutely beautiful and peaceful, until I saw the new deepwater drilling rig. I live in Shetland, UK, Our government has recently given massive tax breaks to fracking and deepwater drilling across the UK. The Scottish independence debate seems mired in North Sea Oil with each side promising more oil, locally it is all about jobs (not surprising with all the austerity and rise in food banks etc) . I despair, the rig is just about where the minke whales and the porpoises pass the island and I am just waiting for the spill. With climate change looming and as a father, I cannot understand the blind capitalism in the face of the oncoming crisis. It just seems to me to be totally insane.

    • I’ve always wanted to visit the Shetland Islands. They seem such a beautiful place. I’ve Scottish heritage myself (McKenzie) and although I’ve been across the border I saw precious little of your beautiful country.
      How sad though that your resources (they ARE great resources even if they are better left where they are) are for sale to the highest bidder, just like in Australia. The Chinese (amongst others) desire Australian coal to continue to fuel their country’s boom and we sell it too them, probably faster than they can dig it up. New open cut coal mines seem to be the way of the future for us. How sad that we are both governed by short sighted politicians that can only see the instant dollar (pound) signs that drilling and digging and fracking will bring to their pockets. 😦

      • Hi, Shetland is beautiful. Yes our politicians only seem interested in power and making a fast buck. It is plutocracy, not democracy we live under. I can see where groups like MEND and DGR are coming from, I do not believe that they will change and time is limited. It is shameful that we are despoiling the planet, knowing that the next generation will pay the price, for profit and to maintain our lifestyles

        • One day, sooner rather than later I hope, the world and its people will wake up and smell the soon to be too expensive to import coffee. I think it will take a catastrophic event and reaching the point where there is absolutely no other option (read absolute disaster) for most people to wake up and realise and then change but even then I think people will be trying to live an environmentally friendly version of the lives they currently lead. I believe we will need to completely change our entire way of life. Solar power is great but have we thought what will happen in 100 years? Solar panels do wear out and do require (at least at the moment) fossil fuels and minerals etc mined from underground. How will we run our appliances when we can no longer manufacture panels? Or wind turbines? Still, I love the idea of sustainable energy as the interim until we figure out (or relearn?) the technologies of the deep past.
          Gees, I am on a rant now aren’t I? 😉

  4. narf77 says:

    There’s nothing like a soul quenching cup of tea to give you a moments pause to regroup-reorganise and rejoin the battle. Glad you found time for it 🙂

  5. I can really relate to this, I have those times too. I watched two items on the news the other night, they were back to back and both really disturbing. I was left with a dread of where humanity is heading, other times I am full of optimism that there are so many good people in the world and that will never change, there will always be good as well as bad. But yes, I certainly have days where I don’t want to know anything, don’t want to step outside my gate because the world is a scary, crazy place and it’s a haven at home away from it, other days I have no such fears 🙂

    • Was it the Skyhooks that sang “Horror Movie”? Sometimes the news is enough to make you tear out your hair in frustration but there are far too many times when it used to make me sad. I have very little grip on world events these days, quite deliberately so. We have no tv connected and it’s a rare day that I listen to the radio or look up internet news. And for the very reason that it usually just leaves me despondent.
      Thankfully we both have our little slices of paradise which, although part of the world are also delightfully shut away too. 🙂

  6. foodnstuff says:

    Of course we all have days like this. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. When I feel like this, I just get outside and garden, because the garden brings peace of mind and joy, regardless of what’s happening elsewhere. I think it was Geoff Lawton who said all the world’s problems can be solved in a garden. Of course those cups of tea help too. 😉

    • Planning for a positive and self sufficient lifestyle helped me get a grip on it all. I’ve gardened today instead and it was wonderful! 🙂 You’re right though, the smell of fresh compost, the sight of beautiful flowers and the taste of freshly harvested produce from ones own garden are soul healing. 🙂 And tea always goes down well. 😀

  7. […] one thing this time has been different. Last time I didn’t cope so well with my fear. Last time I needed to hide from them and I needed a major […]

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